Jabba the Huntsman

Snow White And The Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman


The word was that a tiger white as snow prowled the woods around the village.

“Of course there was no such thing as a snow white tiger,’ he mused. He had been hunting tigers for eight years and he had never heard of one before, much less see one But then again, considering that the villagers see everyting mostly black, anything white for them would be called snow white.

“It must be a Siberian tiger,” he continued, “or an albino!”

Nevertheless the huntsman called Jabba buckled his gun belt and slipped on his bandoleer and proceeded to hunt down this tiger. For the umpteenth time he complained about the excess ammunition he had to carry. In all his hunts, he needed only three shots at most to bring down his quarry.  But if he must, he must. Besides, a snow white tiger rug would fetch a handsome price, indeed. So off went Jabba the Huntsman with all his ammo and rifle and provisions to bring down one tiger reverently called Snow White by the villagers.

One fateful morning, while following the trail of the tiger, he met Snow White face to face while the tiger was backtracking to the village. The encounter caught both of them by surprise. Instinctively, Jabba fired his rifle at Snow White, which lunged at the Huntsman at the same instant. Jabba missed his shot. Fortunately Snow White overshot its target. Needless to say, both of them ran off frightened by the encounter.

Our story does not end there, of course, as there has been no conclusion yet. Furthermore, if this story is meant to be funny, it has yet to put up a punch line.

So off went Jabba the Huntsman again the next morning, smarting from his embarrassing failure to bag Snow White on the first encounter, and still complaining about the excessive weight of his baggage, to practice shooting at close range. He had no farther to go when he espied Snow White in a clearing. It was actually, virtually practicing short leaps so it could catch short range targets.

And lo, both protagonists faced each other again in a similar situation only this time both knew what to do. Jabba fired first, but since this was to be a practice session, he forgot to load his gun, so it just went click. Snow White lunged at Jabba, but this time his jump was a little lower so he caught the muzzle of the gun in his open mouth. The tiger just went gluck. Again it is needless to say that both went off scared as can be.

The Huntsman was never again seen around these parts and for good reason, the tiger was not seen again prowling around for chickens to eat and for children to scare. Its diet was transformed to berries and all other foods generally relegated to seniors with dental shortcomings.

Snow White is sometimes seen ambling around with either a red or blue stain upon his breast, depending upon what is in season—raspberries or blueberries.