I’ll give it to you off the bounce
‘Cause I am not able to make the rounds.
Tarry and hear, tarry and hear,
The wall has ears, the wall has ears.
You’ll rue the tears, in all those years,
The day you forgot what big ears it’s got.
The plot is simple. The screenplay is slow-moving. Yet this oldie-goldie of a movie gets the viewer glued to the set by sheer force of character portrayal.
They met in the rain. Love starts in the rain, will never die in the rain.
Not much have been written about St. Andrew and yet……..
Jane Wyman
(This theme is prime for a script, or even a skit, with the hero perishing when a ferry goes down somewhere in the Southern Philippines. But a performance like that of Jane Wyman’s will be very, very difficult to duplicate.)
Stuck Gas Pedal
Look at it this way, if you are going to tell me that a car will surge with your foot off the gas pedal, you’re just pulling my leg.
A stuck gas pedal will only travel to that point where your foot leaves it and not any farther after that. If the gas pedal is stuck, it would be stuck going up not stuck going down, hence the speed of the car should be as you put it and will not surge forward (accelerate) anymore. And henceforth after that, a light tap on the gas pedal will release it. That is, if it was really stuck. If it were stuck then hitting the brake pedal would stop the car. If that still does not work, shifting down to the next gear and thence to the next gear should stop the car. At least it would slow down to controllable speeds.
If you still tell me that the gas pedal just got floored by itself, then you must have misused the cruise control, or you just flicked “resume” at the inopportune time.
If the cruise control was on and the last setting was 110 klips, putting the switch on to “resume” would have made the cruise control mechanism pull the gas pedal down and accelerate till 110 klips is reached. But then again, a slight tap of the gas pedal or the brake pedal would have neutralized the cruise control.
And if you say that the malfunction of the “power switch” could have produced the surge, fat chance!. The “power switch” merely shifts the transmission down to second gear enabling you to pass another vehicle on the highway easily. The gas pedal still has to be depressed determinedly for overtaking.
This sort of thing never happens in Canada where a stuck gas pedal would indeed be fatal. What has happened, however, on several occasions is when the gas pedal is mistaken for the brake pedal. Usually the vehicle rams the glass window of a commercial establishment after this. The driver may have been drinking or is actually too old to drive.
By the way, Ford has a new line of good vehicles. This sort of unfortunate accidents spell bad news for Toyota, eh? 
Chapter 5 The House of Gnomes
By cool_ambo
The town fiesta is winding up and so is the procession. It is always the climax of any town fiesta, the procession. Alas for the Parish Priest, this procession had to pass by the House of Gnomes. People are terrified of this house. They would rather avoid it if they could. This procession could not avoid this house. Alas for the Padre Rufino, or Padre Pino for short, for while he does not fear the smell of death itself, he has no gall to hear the sounds coming from this house.
People talk about elfin duwendes frolicking around the house at night; sounds coming from the house as if somebody was being garroted to death, even eaten alive; gnomes kidnapping children to make dolls for the mangkukulam; ogres capturing people to make candles; and elephant-headed people collecting water from the nearby artesian well. Much talked about is the witch seen flying around when the moon is bright, and tiny little dolls shaking the branches of trees. Anybody that happens to pass by on the way to town shifts to a hurried walk or to a slow run to get off the vicinity of this house.
Ric had to stop the jeep to let the procession pass. From this vantage point, the group had a perfect view of the procession, so perfect in fact that Padre Pino’s fear of the house was so obvious. He was so in a hurry that he tripped on a hole on the road, revealing what could have been a colt .45 holster over a pair of green-striped pj’s under his white habit. Now his reputation in town was like he had a large repertoire of swear words. So this was the perfect opportunity to recite these swear words. And he did so, in litany mode.
Ric turned off the headlights to reduce the glare on the people. The lighted float bearing the statue of the patron Saint toppled over from the same hole on the road, breaking the head off and smashing the little statue of the baby Jesus. After being hastily collected and patched, the float trudged on with the saint’s head askew and a Barbie doll substituted for the baby Jesus.
By just sitting there, the dark House affected everybody’s disposition. In his hurry, the bass drummer bumped the mega-sized tuba player who fell down with the tuba wedged over him. This tuba player was as wide as he was tall so putting him up was like raising a dead horse.
Even more hysterically humorous was what followed afterwards in the floats. The tractor pulling the float that carried the Fiesta Queen and her consort suddenly lurched forward over the cavity on the road, spilling everybody off the float. The Reyna hit the ground butt first with the chair falling on her head. Her consort hit the ground butt-first, too, but his ankle got caught on the float and he got dragged over a distance which was enough to scrape a hole in his pants large enough for his mother to get worried about his virtue.
When the float was put together again, the reyna could not wear the crown well because of the sore lump on her head. She had to wear it sideways, like a jauntily placed beret. She had to give up her sash, or the one with the label “Reyna Ng Pista”, to her consort who wore it to cover the portion of his butt that showed. His ankle was swollen so he had difficulty standing. The reyna had a sore butt, so she had difficulty sitting. At every bump on the road, she had to go on a squatting position to raise her butt off the chair. Her consort had to lift his swollen foot. But after so many bumps both fell in to the rhythm of things. Bump, raise butt, raise foot, drop butt, drop foot. Bump, raise butt, raise foot, drop butt, drop foot. Bump, raise butt………and at every bump, the consort’s bare butt had to peek out from its cover.
At the sight of this humorous dance of pain, the band following the float flipped into hysterics. The trombone player could not find enough wind to blow on his trombone. The flute player could not put his lips together due to a snickering fit. The trumpet players just could not purse their lips, and when they did, they could blow only fart sounds. The baton twirler just couldn’t twirl. Everybody fell off the road to clutch their bellies and stomped their feet to force out their pent up laughter. The band was scattered all over the place, so they decided to move the float to the last spot of the procession, to the delight of the electric generator servicemen who were actually positioned in that spot.
YES—-people are scared of the House. I would say, though, that it was the House that scared the people. This was intended as a defense and at that moment I didn’t, wouldn’t say why or how. It succeeded to scare people away, including Ric who, in frightful anticipation of the duwendes, pulled up the driveway a little too fast, scraping the balimbing tree and to stop with a jolt. This brought chidings from Ding regarding Ric’s driving and his “colorum” driver’s license; to which he promptly replied that dissidents like himself are expected to possess nothing more than “colorum” licenses.
As Ding opened the large door(this was seldom locked) and lit kerosene lamps. I helped Perla alight from the jeep and then led her towards a long wooden bench beside a large tailor’s table. On the table were bolts of cloth, scissors and markers. On top the table was crudely-drawn a five-pointed star which Grandma etched a while back. Ric ambled in to see shelves all around a wall upon which lie various odd glass containers. They contain dead fetuses, frogs, toads, a brain, kidney small and large intestines all soaked in formalin. And from the ceiling was hung a completely assembled human skeleton which limbs rattle to the touch.
“Spices,” Ding called Ric’s attention to another wall section. On these shelves were dried bat wings, lizard tails, wood bark, dark chicken clotted blood, baby pigeon’s heads, turtle scales, goat hooves, and so forth. I rang the campanilla.The House of Gnomes is actually two separate neighboring houses bridged by a pedway on the second floor. The house we entered is from my mother’s family. The other house, which is on the verge of getting swallowed by vegetation, is from my father’s family. And from that house now came the patter of little feet followed by the shakes of big, heavy feet. Coming through the large door were two freaks. Ric froze.
“Abra?”, I asked.
“Wrong again, uncle,” she replied. “I’m Dabra. Abra is behind you.” And sure enough she was there with the impish grin that make both of these twins lovable. The huge Quasimodo-looking guy behind Dabra is Ugong, so named because he makes grunting sounds to communicate. He so much crimped Ric’s disposition that Ric was forced to say goodbye and to leave hurriedly, scraping the statue by the driveway, with Ding’s loud chidings about his driving and his “colorum” license.
(end part 1, to be continude) 
This space is reserved for the House of Gnomes, Chap 5 Matanglawin.
Meantime, SMILE,
and the Birds will smile with you……….
If the people who ordered this cell phone jamming equipment intend to use this to waylay the transmission of the poll results to the COMELEC, then these blokes are literally motukoys. The election of the candidates will not be done by cell phones! It will be done mechanically and then transmitted digitally! And then also, the transmission does not have to be wireless!
The election results are nested in the terminal/scanners thet were used, also in the reports that would be printed out and given to at least 8 people, and mainly in the ballots that were tallied. To change the results, or even erase the results, they have to be in control of the machines, the printouts, and the official ballots. Cell phone jammers will not be able to control any of these. The jammers may be able to neutralize the data transmissions but so what, the results are still intact. Besides the effectivity of these jammers are limited by distance. The equipment has to be inside the precint to work. It can probably cause some annoyance to the Cell Phone Army of ABS-CBN, but then again, so what?
Listen, if these cell phone jammers are really effective, the US Army could have rampantly used these to jam the cell phone triggering devices to the IED’s in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Ordering these jammers prove that the would-be cheaters on the next election are getting frantic in their effort to secure the election of their candidates.
JOY, OH JOY! 
So you think you can dance the Classy Kembot, eh?
What was her name again…….?
APRILYN?
Gosh, if I am not careful, I will be compelled to say, “Thanks Aprilyn,” everytime somebody congratulates me.
Why they would call her Ar-Ar instead of Arf-Arf
beats the heck out of me!
Sometimes she does not look the part of a comedienne, when she is caught off-guard.
| Dear friend,Last night during the State of the Union address, we heard President Obama say once again that international cooperation needs to be the bedrock of effective American foreign policy.
In the past year, we have seen the United States move in the right direction by engaging with our global partners, including a renewed commitment to the United Nations. By paying our dues, working diligently in the United Nations Security Council, taking a seat on the Human Rights Council, and reengaging in UN-sponsored climate negotiations, we have shown the world that we are serious about international engagement.
Take Haiti, for example. In an immediate response to the earthquake’s devastation, UN agencies are working hand-in-hand with the U.S. on relief and recovery efforts on the ground. This mission highlights the importance of UN aid and peacekeeping operations around the world. Watch this slideshow of the UN helping Haiti in its time of need. Though we’re only one month into 2010, you’ve already shown an unbelievable outpouring of support for the UN’s work. And it will take all of us — governments, international organizations, and citizens like you — to keep that momentum going. Thank you for your support, The UN Foundation team |
This part I like—–when one talks the other smiles!
Val and Mariel, synchronized. 
Automation, as the very name implies, cuts down the time, money and effort spent for specific chores. Why then do teachers dread this very word especially, but more especially, if they have to get on with it untrained come election time.
I don’t think teachers have the phobia of computers. I don’t think they fear the keyboard. I don’t think they fear errors they will make in handling computers. I don’t think they are frightened of the pandora they are going to let out by a mere touch of a key. I don’t think they are afraid of making mistakes. I believe that they are afraid of not being able to correct the mistakes that they are bound to make.
Teachers are trained to teach the correct and rightful things so much so that they wouldn’t be able to correct any mistake they make in teaching. These are only a very few mistakes to say the most. Therefore they will be unable to correct mistakes that they might make in this election equipment, or so they think.
Then again they might not have gone through this sort of computer training before. This is a hands-on training in which they are taught to handle the keyboard in the correct manner and at the same time make corrections as they go along. They will learn the functions of the backspace, then scratch head, escape, then scratch back, delete, then drink more coffee, reboot, then finally to go to the bathroom to scream and pull on hair. This would be all in fun, particularly at that time when just about everybody has gone baldheaded.
All kidding aside, training on this equipment would take only half an hour. The rest of the day would be consumed in the familiarizing with the equipment, comelec procedures, bonding with the equipment, and consuming the baon in case Comelec is scroogy enough not to provide the teachers with free lunch.
The polling equipment is basically a counting equipment. The same results could of course be accomplished if everybody is provided a computer wherein he can go online and select their candidates to stick a vote on. It would be more convenient, however, for everybody concerned if a ballot is provided uniquely for each voter and let them shade out the circles corresponding to their chosen candidates. This ballot is then fed to a scanner which simultaneously reads and tallies the votes. This method would be as simple as selecting your numbers in a lottery card and having this card read by a terminal in some store. The ballot is considerably larger than a lottery entry card, of course. Why? Because the ballot has to have the names of the candidates on it in large print instead of mere numbers in a lotto card. And, as in a lotto card, the vote is tallied according to the position the shaded choice is in. The ballot scanner will tally the votes as regards to the position in the ballot the vote is shaded. This is why the ballot is rolled in for reading by the scanner.
And the teachers’ role in this election? Much of the work of the teacher is done by the equipment. And these are namely: counting the votes in the middle of the night, sorting out spoiled ballots, bundling these ballots and bringing these manually to the comelec receiving stations, reporting to the comelec the results of the precint, and also some voter validation procedures.
The bulk of the teachers’ work in this election would be the validation of the voters and the handing out of the ballot to each one, instructing them what to do as the ballot is handed over. The completed ballot would then be scanned by the voter under the teachers’ careful supervision. If a receipt of the votes are printed out, then the teachers check this and gives this receipt to the voter. Easy as swallowing a long-tailed puto bumbong, no?
Standard election procedures would include having copies of eligible voters’ names , tacked on a wall by the precint door. These names would serve as the first voter screening for the precint. It also serves as an instruction as to which desk or counter the voter would go. The teacher on that desk or counter would then proceed to validate the identity of the voter and hand him the ballot. Simple, isn’t it? It would be as easy as swallowing a………I think I said that already.
At any rate, this election procedure would not take the whole day for the teachers to learn. It might take a lunch and several free snacks to finish, though.
If the teachers could still not learn the procedure within that time, they could of course ask for more time and more lunch and snacks at another training day.
(Note that the above procedure is what I know and is proven to work for a lot of elections held elsewhere. The COMELEC may have a different and as-yet-unknown procedure. Do follow what the commissioners tell you to do. It can’t be that much different!)
I’m guessing now—–this is David and Sabrina
THE IDES OF MARCH
This was the ultimate moment that made a lot of people conclude that the Upper House of Congress which we call SENATE was useless in its entirety.
If the bunch have actually accomplished anything during their stay in that house, they have yet to show something to prove it.
They have done more bickerings than a bunch of wannabe chefs arguing about their way of cooking ginisang mongo without boiling the beans first.
Perhaps we should treat them as children since they act like so.
Kahiyahiyahiyahiya kayo. Wala namang motukoy sa inyo, why do you act like so?
